"No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night"

Have you seen those Holiday Inn Express commercials where the guy does something really impressive and someone asks him if he's a doctor/scientist/whatever and he says no, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?

I always thought they were somewhat amusing, but I never understood how staying at a mostly crappy hotel could make someone smarter. Then I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express... Their secret is to use brain teasers. I now present you with the bathroom supplies:


They give you a bar of soap labeled "clean." That's pretty straightforward. But they also give you four bottles labeled scrub, soften, tame, and wash. It's up to you to figure out what they want you to do with these liquids.