Maybe she would have preferred the radio?

Last weekend Molly and I went to see Damn Yankees at City Center. It was a good show and Jane Krakowski was pretty damn good. But this isn't going to be a review of the show. You can get that on Molly's site here: theatreiseasy.com. No, this is about the audience. I've been to a good number of shows over the past year and I've noticed a trend. There's always ALWAYS at least one person who ruins the show for everyone else. There was that time at Dirt where the woman behind me filed her nails the whole time. There was that row of old people crinkling their Werthers Originals at Cry-Baby. Hell, I once went to a play where someone sat in the back and clipped their toe nails. Their toe nails!

You obviously know where this is going, so I'll get right down to it. So we're sitting there, waiting for the show to start, when a cute, little blonde girl and her family showed up. But no, this wasn't any ordinary cute, little blonde girl. This was a blind, cute, little blonde girl. She sits down and the show begins and I don't think anything of it. But I quickly discover that the girl sitting next to our blind friend is going to serve as a sort of blind girl closed captioning system for tonight's performance. The next two hours went a little something like this: "Three baseball players just came out. Ok, now they're dancing. Everyone is laughing because they're dancing in a funny fashion. Oh, now there's a girl. People laughed because the baseball players danced around her. What? No, that's a new girl, I don't know who she is yet. Ok, now they're dancing again. No, now they stopped. I don't know, they're just looking at each other. No wait, they're dancing again."

It went on like this for the whole freaking performance. Now I have nothing against blind people and I'm not trying to make fun of anyone's disability, but if you're blind, why go to the theatre? If you're the parents of a blind girl and you really want her to experience a Broadway show, explain the plot to her ahead of time so that she can sit quietly and listen. It's not like this was a new show, it was Damn Yankees. 15 minutes and wikipedia could have made everyone's night just a little bit more enjoyable.